Representatives from Warped Reality Headquarters sent representatives to speak with P.E.T.A. regarding their concerns for the hit game. Meeting with the people in charge, our representatives were able to conduct an interview and gather information which could possible open up an entirely new view on the destructive game.
We asked: So what exactly is P.E.T.A. complaining against? And we received a prompt responce of: "We feel as if animals are being exploited for the amusement of others. Birds are catapulted into solid stone boulders, wood planks, ice blocks, explosives, and worst of all, OTHER animals! What about the fat pigs? What made them green? Where they fed some harmful chemicals to turn their skin this shade? And why are they being shot at? You could see at the end of every 'course' that there were bruises and bleeding on the pigs, what about that?! Oh, and one more thing. WHY IS THE BLACK BIRD EXPLODING?!"
At this point, the representative suffered a heart attack from a spike in his blood pressure.
We then talked to the creators of Angry Birds, and recieved this as a responce to all of the questions asked by P.E.T.A.
Q: What made pigs green?
A: Well, where do you think Green eggs and HAM comes from? GREEN PIGS!
Q: Why are the pigs being shot at?
A: The pigs are wanted criminals in 54 states, 32 countries, 8 continents, 12 galaxies, 13 dimensions, and Cuba. I think we can all agree that Angry Birds is our way of bringing justice.
Q: Why does the black bird explode?
A: It has a rare eating disorder (which explains its unnaturally round shape) which causes it to explode due to overindulging
Q: Why is the yellow bird shaped like a triangle?
A: It was born with a rare bone condition which causes it to morph into the figure of a triangle
Q: Is the fat white bird a male or female?
A: It lays eggs, so its obviously a genetically engineered super chicken male
P.E.T.A. continues their efforts to stop the marketing of this "crime against animal kind," while my partner and I continue to try and beat level 3 in stage 2 of Angry Birds Seasons.