Friday, July 15, 2011

Harry Potter Midnight Premier Experience Q & A

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As you all may know, the midnight premier for the final Harry Potter movie was shown yesterday, and it had an amazing turnout. But what is it that defines the midnight premier experience? Is it the hoards of people sitting for hours on end in an endless line? Perhaps its the hipsters and strangely dressed people you get to meet? Or maybe its the complete lack of hygiene as a result of endless waiting and no showers?? Warped Reality Headquarters went behind the scenes to ask questions so that YOU may have the ultimate midnight premiere waiting experience!

Question 1: What's your favorite part about a midnight premier of a movie??

Answer 1: That feeling of relief when you get up off the ground from sitting motionless for a couple of days. The rush of blood to my legs, back, and my gluteus maximus.

Question 2: What do you recommend bringing for a midnight premier??

Answer 2: I recommend bringing a blind fold, some rope, something to stand on, duct tape, a weapon of some sort, and a sign that reads "free candy." It's a great way to "meet" new people... hehe. And what's best about it is that no one can hear their screams... of merriment!

Question 3: How early should one camp out before a premier??

Answer 3: Well my family and I found out about the latest Harry Potter movie, we immediately picked up the kids, the grandparents, and the dog, and pitched a tent in front of the theater. So it's been about a year now. Sure, you might think that it's a bit too early, but you gotta be first! People will say that they're only there to see "Transformers 3" or some other movie, but its a lie... a conspiracy! Them blasted kids just want my spot!

Question 4: Does it ever get boring of tedious to wait for so long??

Answer 4: Not really. I've been sitting so long that the blood flow to my brain has slowed down so significantly that I can't actually tell that I'm bored or tired or hungry or thirsty. Besides, there's so many fun things to do! Like count the leaves on the trees, calculate the derivative of a bird's flight path, ascertain the integral of said bird's flight path on a graph, count the pebbles that compose the sidewalk, spitball random people...

Question 5: Where should one choose to camp out in line for a premier??

Answer 5: I don't know man... hey you got some booze??

Well there you have it! A quick Q and A and you now know how to thoroughly enjoy your waiting in line experience!

WARNING: Same principles do not apply to all lines. Grocery lines are not encompassed in the scope of advice above. Do not drink (question 5) and do not be a creeper (question 2). Results are not guaranteed. In fact, results are not to be expected under any circumstances. We are not held liable for anyone who may starve, faint, become dehydrated, or even die as a result of adhering to the advice above. Movie experience is not guaranteed. Call now for a free consultation. If you have taken the drug ----, you may have a claim to compensation. some assembly required, results may vary.

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