This year, on 11, November, 2011, billions of people will be able to wish the most epic and greatest wish in the history of mankind! This wish has only been trumped once by that of the November of 1111. It has been conjectured that at 11:11 on this day, the amount of energy that is released from all of the wishes will reverse the poles on the Earth's axis. Although communication, satellite GPS, radio communication, and your favorite episode of Jersey Shore may experience some turbulence, the change will not be permanent.
It is estimated that the reversal will last no longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage, so there is no need for alarm. Further reports of collateral damage will be accumulated as we experience this disaster that people seemingly worship and idolize. Warped Reality Headquarters is on it! In the mean time, lock yo doors, shut yo windows, and hid yo kids, 'cause it gettin' crazy tonight!
Stay tuned for more reports. And for those sorry people who missed it, we recommend finding another reason to live...